Reader matter:
we came across men online whom life 500 miles away. He’s 34 and that I’m 53. He did tell me he had a female he dated “locally” and therefore he had been just on the website finding friends. 3 months later on we understood we emotions for every single other.
At the same time, he however indicates he’s experiencing difficulity together with his girlfriend, who is not some one he is “dating” locally. He is managing the lady in addition they’ve already been together for four years.
I finally chose we had in order to meet to see if it was really worth pursuing. The guy provided me with the primary reason the guy failed to believe it absolutely was right to exercise while he was still together. I finally provided him an ultimatum and informed him i possibly couldn’t perform next fiddle. He professed their really love but stated he had been extremely puzzled.
Would I offer him ultimatum, it’s the girl or me personally? Was we wrong to inquire of him to make that choice?
-Nancy (Fl)
Dr Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You had written to me for honesty, right? Really, will you be relaxing? Because right here arrives a honey container of truth.
You might be living in dream secure, my personal dear lady. You haven’t even met this person who might not be one and exactly who might not have a girlfriend.
We highly recommend the truth is the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an online really love scam.
But even if you you shouldn’t do this, let’s assume for a moment he is actually who he states he could be and disregard the fact he started composing to you personally by lying about his commitment status.
Let us just consider the alleged realities.
A.) He is nearly 2 decades more youthful than you.
B.) He’s in a critical relationship.
C.) The guy said right from the start he is just seeking to end up being buddies.
And so I want to know, exactly why might you risk your own heart on these a negative bet?
Issue should not be about providing him an ultimatum, but instead, should you allow yourself the love you are entitled to?
If so, after that this is not the pony you ought to drive to the sunset with. Run, bi curious woman!
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